Not sure if I can do this...

Just so it’s out there, I hate talking about myself. I’ve always felt like a shadow, so actually writing a journal is a scary thing for me. I’ve been told, quite a bit recently, that I need to keep pushing myself out of my comfort zone or I’ll always have regrets. So here I am... good or bad, I’m doing this, thanks in large part to a big nudge from my angel, Stuie. Thank you for being there to guide me and letting me hide with you when real life gets to be too much.
The problem with being a shadow is that when someone finds you and actually cares and shows an interest, you automatically look for the ulterior motive. You’re scared to reach out because you don’t want to put your heart out there just to have it torn to shreds... I have a loving and accepting family but my circle of close friends is small. I’m learning to trust more and express myself more... to find myself worthy, if that makes any sense.
Sitting here typing this with tears in my eyes and feeling foolish but it needs to be done. I’m hoping that getting used to writing down my thoughts will help me get past this mental/emotional block that I’ve been living with for too long... Wish me luck🖤